• “Wow so the Bible is actually a trilogy and the Book of Mormon is Return of the Jedi? I’m interested!”
— All-American Prophet, The Book of Mormon
“And I believe that in 1978 God changed his mind about black people!”
— I Believe, Book of Mormon
“I can’t believe Jesus called me a dick”
— Spooky Mormon Hell Dream, Book of Mormon
I hate when I realize I could never be in Book of Mormon because I am neither a man nor black.
today has been a Book of Mormon kind of day
I am Brigham Young
I cut off my daughter’s clitoris
sal tlay ka siti
a land of hope and joy,
And if I want to get there, I just have to follow that white boy.
You were right, mama, you didn’t lie –
The place is real, and I’m gonna fly!
I’m on way…soon life won’t be so shitty.
Now salvation has a name: Sal Tlay Ka Siti.
